...but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.

(Sidebar: I may as well face it: my average posting ability seems to be once per month. So if I make the mental commitment to post at that pace, I know I can stay on track. And any additional posts will be a bonus!  So that's what I'll do.)

When I open a magazine, or watch a home renovation show, I usually think, "Oh, THAT'S what I need to make my life better." Ads are designed to do that, and I am a highly susceptible viewer. But I'm also old enough to know better. Yes, I wish I had the time/energy/money to make my house look like a page in a magazine. And, yes, if I didn't suffer so much from residual exhaustion due to my poor nightly sleep, I would have probably spent my younger years making more of an effort to complete (who am I kidding--start) home improvements. But I didn't. And that's okay, because I really have all I need.
I'm not saying I'll stop "wanting." And I'm DEFINITELY not saying I'll stop doing what I can to make my physical surroundings nicer. But I really am satisfied in life because I have so much--the people I love are near and healthy. I can sit on my deck at all hours, in all weather, and enjoy my surroundings. I have a house that is not falling down, keeping me safe and warm. I love my job, though I often complain of exhaustion.
No great insights this month, just a heart full of gratitude.

Once more into the fray

Vacation over. School starts again. The lazy days of summer didn't feel like they were flying by, and yet, it is unbelievable to me that we're into September already.
I truly spoiled myself this summer. I was in the pool at least once a day, with the exception of, maybe, 7 days total. I actually scheduled in daily pool time. Felt so selfish at the time, but I'm so glad I did that. Just floated, read trash, read great stuff, read school stuff. Listened to the birds. Watched the butterflies. I must be sure to do that next summer as well.
I do seem to thrive on the busy-ness of the school day, though. I'm not sure what's gonna happen to my brain (and my time) when I finally retire (or they kick me out, whichever comes first). I love reading tips from other teachers, thinking up new ways to present material, playing with the ever-advancing technology. I need to stop worrying about the "what will happen whens" and concentrate on the NOW. 
Okay. I'll do that. Just as I enjoyed every minute of summer leisure, I'll treasure every moment of hectic school-day needs. 
Take a breath…let it out…and…GO! 

Vacation

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
Galileo Galilei 


It's August. AUGUST. I've been lounging through the summer and loving every minute of it. And now comes the time of, "Oh my gosh, I've only got 2 weeks left--I'd better take a vacation!"  It happens every summer. I relax, I read, I soak in the pool, and then, just before school starts again, I feel like I have to get away in order to have REALLY been on vacation.
So I'm going to Vermont. And while I'm looking forward to the "getting away," this will be a bittersweet trip. It's probably the last time I'll go there. I'm helping my daughter move back to the Midwest, and I know she'll be very sad to go. And I'll be very sad for her to leave behind the family she's developed while there. So it will be a teary drive home.
Along the way, I'm hoping to stop at a vineyard or two in the Finger Lakes region of New York. I'm late to this whole wine thing---my friends have been drinking wine for years, but I didn't get into it at all until this past winter. I don't think I have much of a palate, but I know what I like. So I'm excited to visit and purchase some wines from that area on our way home. I'm also looking forward to one more maple ice cream cone. And maybe a delicious local meal at one of the very fine inns near her town.
But mostly, I'm looking forward to our long drive and the conversations, tears, and laughs we'll have. I don't ever have to go anywhere special to enjoy time with my girls. This will be a perfect vacation this year.

Old Friends

There's something precious about spending time with people who share your past. People who were there for your "formative" years. People who remember you when, remember your family home, remember your first date, remember the games you played in the neighborhood.

I'm grateful for a recent visit from my oldest friend. Hadn't actually been together for 18 years, but from the minute our visit began, we were exactly the same as when we first met. We spent hours boring our daughters as we laughed, laughed, laughed our way through stories of events big and small from our teen years. We caught up on our current lives and relived our past through pictures. Some of it was sad--actually, kind of a lot of it--but necessary. We remembered little things that have taken on deeper meaning, now that others have passed on. But mostly, we laughed. She has an INCREDIBLE ability to recall names, dates, places. These tiny details flipped switches in my mind that haven't been turned on in DECADES.

It was a really cathartic visit. It was energizing, exhausting, and emotional. And for that I am so grateful. Thanks, my friend.http://youtu.be/BPTOY8FrvNw

Winning?

http://www.cookerati.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/MiniPeppersMiniYellowSquash.jpg

                           
I think I've ended my streak of death and destruction. When it comes to growing things, I have a lllooonnnggg history of taking innocent lives. I am the person who killed the indestructible jade plant in college. I'm the person who grew an unhealthy-looking stick out of an avocado seed. Spider plant cuttings have never taken root under my watch, though actual spiders seem to thrive in my house. And last year, my lone green pepper grew large, with a walnut-sized hole through its center, until the local squirrel made it into his lunch.

But maybe, just maybe, those days are over. I have a blooming--nay, FLOURISHING!--garden!! It's small, yes, but it's STILL ALIVE.  Even though I didn't plant until mid-June, even though I used two-year-old seeds, EVEN THOUGH we're in the midst of the worst heat wave since 1988, MY GARDEN IS GROWING! (Guess I'm in a caps kind of mood this morning). If this continues, I will have 4 kinds of sweet peppers, 4 kinds of summer squash, and lots of herbs to freeze, come fall. This is incredible. Unbelievable. Unprecedented.  I can't wait to eat the fruits of my labor.

Family Connections

I'm excited to see my sister-in-law and my niece this week. It's been several years, though we've seen each other electronically.  I'm sad that my brother can't make the trip, but this will be great.

My niece will be attending college in Chicago in the fall, which means she'll live within driving distance.  My own daughter will also be living in Chicago. While we haven't ever lived physically near them, I marvel at the connection between my girls and my niece and nephew. When I was growing up, I saw all my cousins weekly. We all lived near each other, our parents vacationed together at the family cottage, we were each other's closest friends for most of our childhood. Things are really different for my girls. We've never lived near immediate family, and though they have several sets of cousins, once a year at Christmas is really the only time they see each other.

And yet, my girls feel so close to the two cousins who live the farthest away. I think that's cool. They share a connection that they discovered at a later age, and while they don't write or call or talk to each other at all, when they're all together, it's as if they've never been apart. I don't know what the connection is, but whatever it is, it works. And it's a joy to hear them all giggling together. I'm really looking forward to that sound again this week. And I know my brother and sister-in-law feel better knowing that my daughter will be in Chicago to look out for their daughter.

Red, White, and Blue

RED:  the color of my skin after many hours in the sun this weekend (yes, I use sunblock religiously, but the sun was mega-powerful here).

WHITE: the blank text box for this week's blog post. It glares at me when I have no ideas.

BLUE: the pool liner (considerably faded from years of chemicals), beckoning me to float my cares away for the rest of the summer.
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RED:  my cheeks after my morning Wii workout.

WHITE: the vanilla ice cream calling to me from the freezer.

BLUE:  the blueberries I mixed into my yogurt, in place of the ice cream I really wanted.
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RED: the watermelon that will be devoured by my beautiful daughters and son during tomorrow's festivities.

WHITE:  the color to which I hope my teeth return after a few weeks of Crest White Strips.

BLUE: my mood as I realize that July marks the halfway point of my summer vacation.
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