Friday, December 31, 2010

Thank you



New Year's Eve. Another chance to say thank you. Thank you for my girls. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for my job. Thank you for a warm house, more than enough food and clothing, an embarrassment of riches.
Thank you for the crisp air. Thank you for the sounds of nature. Thank you for my problems, thank you for my joys.
Happy New Year, everyone.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Oh, sweet mystery of life


It's the most mysterious time of year. For me, it's a time of waiting, wondering, questioning. In addition to all the holiday frenzy--the planning, the cleaning, the cooking, the buying--the weeks just prior to Christmas and New Year's Eve always trigger a desire to thoroughly analyze my belief system.
As a youngster, I followed my parents' directions and was a good little Catholic girl. Looking back, I can say I found comfort in the rituals, the certainty that things were always going to be the same each year. In (Catholic) high school, though I was instructed by nuns, they belonged to a rather free-thinking (at the time) order, and I was encouraged to explore other belief systems. That's one of the most valuable gifts my private-school education gave me. I went to a religious, but not Catholic, college, and became an "official" Lutheran. It felt freer, yet still familiar and comforting.
During my senior year, I met my first real non-Christian friends, and my eyes were opened to the world outside my little bubble. Wow. It was literally life-changing.
Since then, I've made a conscious effort to read, read, read as many perspectives on beliefs as I can. Prior to the birth of my children, I visited most of the various places of worship that the Madison area offers.
While I had the children baptized as Lutherans, I still question why I did it. If I had to label myself, I guess after all my reading, experiences, etc., I'm agnostic, with a lean toward Wicca. And yet, I'm glad I had the girls baptized. I still haul out the manger scenes. We still use Advent calendars. I still sing, " O Holy Night," and get chills.
And I feel okay about all of this.
Is it confusing? Yes. Is it hypocritical? Probably. But I'm really okay with that. Overall, I truly believe each human needs to believe whatever it is that gets him/her through the days and nights as the best person possible. Live and let live. Be kind. Keep questioning. Keep an open mind. It's all a big mystery. You can't flip to the end to see how it turns out. You can just live it.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

It's been a long, been a long time


I realize I'm only using this blog to remind myself to be grateful daily, but I apologize for being absent for the entire month of November!! I thought a lot about blogging, but I didn't actually DO it. Bad girl!
Thanksgiving Day has come and gone, but I continue to be thankful every minute of every day. The sounds of my girls laughing after the big dinner stays in my head, making me so grateful for my beautiful family. The sheer abundance of food we have is both embarrassing and humbling. The warmth of the house, the new windows, the wood stoves--I'm lucky to have them all, and I'm grateful.
It didn't snow for my birthday--which is my selfish birthday wish every year-- but I got to spend a good chunk of the day walking through the beautiful grounds where our upcoming family wedding will take place, watching the excitement on the faces of my daughter and her fiancee', and seeing the bond between two sisters grow as we excitedly talked through some plans.
This week, I listened proudly as my youngest daughter described her new job, and as she marveled at her own responsibility, I marveled with her, and was grateful.
I'm alive, I'm healthy, my girls are independent, smart, creative women. I love my life, I love my family and friends. I'm so lucky, so grateful.