Sunday, January 30, 2011

Movies

It seems trivial to be thankful for something as mundane as movies, but when I think about how influential movies have been in my life, I have to pause and be grateful.
I have some early memories of going downtown with my mother and brothers to see "blockbusters," like 633 Squadron and Von Ryan's Express. I find it odd to remember going to see these war movies with my MOTHER and not my dad--but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that my dad was always picking up odd carpentry jobs on weekends, so he wasn't very available.
Growing up, we had a couple movie theaters in our suburb, and we could ride our bikes to at least two of them. I remember feeling so safe, ensconced in the darkness of the theater, surrounded by the story of someone else's life.
We all know the movie-theater experience of today is drastically different. We're bombarded by commercials, surrounded by audience members who don't know HOW to watch a movie politely, and in silence. I still go to the movies, but, like the rest of the country, I tend to watch movies more at home, where I can control the atmosphere. I like to turn off the lights and pretend I'm in my own little theater. Though I do enjoy seeing some current films (The King's Speech is the best movie I've seen in YEARS!), when I'm looking for comfort, I tend to break out the classics. This weekend, TMC was running several of my favorites. Saturday night I curled up with Little Big Man, and today was my all-time favorite romance, Dr. Zhivago.
I'm grateful for movie music, for memorable acting moments, but mostly, I'm grateful for the pure rush of emotion that engulfs me when I'm part of a fabulous movie.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Everything Old is New Again

Well, it's here. The New Year. Do you feel different? I do, sort of. What is it about January 1st that makes us feel different? Maybe it's just that we all EXPECT so much. We've been raised to think of this as a chance for do-overs, to feel obligated to make big changes (for the better) in our lives.
Do you make New Year's resolutions? I do, but as I get older, I cut myself more slack than I did before. I don't set limits or dates to see the results. I believe in goal-setting, I believe in checking in with those goals. But I seem more able to take the unexpected into account, to forgive myself a few missed deadlines.
Of course, I won't miss a deadline that affects someone else. Absolutely not. I'm always more willing to sacrifice what I want to do in order to not disappoint someone else. I know that's not a good thing, really. It's an old habit--the people-pleaser gene. I'm sad that I seem to have passed that on to at least two of my children. I didn't do a good job of instilling a "your needs should matter to you" mindset, so they are people-pleasers, too. 
Hopefully, they can learn from the mistakes they see me make. I'm still learning how to navigate through this life. I like the "wisdom" that comes with age, I like the idea of becoming a better person each day. I guess that's one of the reasons The New Year appeals to me. More chances to grow.