Saturday, July 12, 2014

Lost

Can't find my way out of this deep hole.
Ashamed.
Lonely.
Lost.
Embarrassed.
Confused.
Lonely.
Lonely.
Lonely.
Lost.
Immobilized.
Static.
Stuck.
Sad.
Dark.
Lost.
My friends have serious issues to deal with, life and death issues. And here I am, feeling sorry for myself. So ashamed of that. But I can't find my way out. Can't find the strength to offer them strength. Feel useless.
Instead of getting better, this feeling is getting worse. At least today I can cry. That release feels good, now that it's finally here.
My haven feels empty. It's not providing the comfort it usually affords me, because it's suddenly so still, so empty, so barren.
No point to anything.
Everything leaves, everything fades.
I have so much.
I have nothing of import.
Maybe writing this will help. Maybe not.