For you, my friend

Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,                                   
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive.
                   
That's you, my friend. You're always with me. You're in my head, even when I wish you weren't. You know me so well, and yet, you still like me. Love me. 

Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share 
A little, a lot.

I've got to believe that friendship like ours is rare. It's too precious to be common. I can't explain why we have always had this connection. It's visceral, palpable, essential. It lives and breathes. 

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.
from Company, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
 
Over miles, over years, in our dreams and in our waking. You're there. You make me want to be alive. You keep me alive. Thank you for making me one lucky chick.

 

And with the dawn...

It's a bright, sunny day. Cold, but sunny. I am not usually a fan of this kind of day. For some reason, bright sun brings on headaches for me. But not today.

There is just a hint of spring in the cold, cold air. The sounds of birds singing again, the daffodil buds barely peeking through the dirt, the squirrels playing their games of tag again in the yard. Just enough spring to lift my heart.

I spent the weekend sobbing, singing the "Poor me, poor me" song. But I'm over it. I still don't think I'm strong enough to visit my favorite eastside haunts yet--I know I'll get weepy without my constant companion. But today's dawn brings a hopeful promise of good things to come, and I'm gonna go with it. I have so much. I am so lucky. And grateful.

Fingers crossed

2012. I'm so lucky. I had loads of time with my girls, loads of good food, loads of junk food, loads of cat snuggles, loads of good experiences with my students. 
I'm so lucky.
2013. I'm hopeful. I'm anxious. I'm grateful already for whatever comes. 
January holds a rather large mountain to climb, but I'll be positive enough, strong enough, and resilient enough for all of us. We'll climb together. We love each other. That's what will help us get to the other side, where we'll slide down, screaming, crying, and laughing all the way.

I'm so lucky. We've got each other.

photo credit

Totally Geeky Music Educator Post

This might not interest you, but I need to share this publicly or I won't hold myself to it. 

I'm always so excited by/inspired by what I see and hear at our October Music Convention, but it frustrates me a little that it occurs after the school year has begun, when I am short on time and energy.  Today, I found inspiration in an article in this month's Teaching Music magazine (membership required), and I made a vow to start the year with a (probably) exhausting but definitely exciting plan. The article was the extra push I needed to go where I've wanted to go, but been too afraid of failing (and, honestly, too darn tired) to fully commit.

I've always done some sort of interest groupings with my kiddos--we all know that it's a tenet of best practice and I've seen terrific growth in the students' learning with these groups. This year, however, I'm going to break it down even further and move closer to the individualized learning plan(ILP). Now this is nothing new; districts have been talking about this for years. But, except for occasional special projects for students who specifically asked for more, I have leaned on small group work to save myself the extra planning, extra setup, extra, extra, extra everything this will most likely entail. To put it bluntly, I've been selfish, and it's just not giving my students the best I have to offer.

SO...I have resigned from almost all committees for the year, decided NOT to look at theatre auditions for this season (with one already-auditioned-for exception ;)  ), and am going to start our first days of school by basically talk, talk, talking with my kiddos. The subject of the article was about creating a culturally diverse classroom. Here are parts of  the article that got me started this morning: "If we're trying to provide equitable education, then we have to respond to the goal of music for all, and to redefine the paradigm...For starters, avoid limiting music literature studied...There's music production, music creation, African drumming ensembles, klezmer music ensembles...And we can try to make students better consumers of music." (Adria Hoffman)*. 

There are so many musical opportunities to explore, and I'm lucky to have another chance to join my student adventurers in their quests.

*"Around the World in Six Class Periods," K. Powers, Teaching Music, Aug., 2012
Image from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikl8DQBPEpuqkA-1C8LLPBh8Uhc3fG6sfAfCd4NhyphenhyphenHJfPEp6VNkWG-acRjkAPX0r8sSnOMPDyURG-2w0Iuf74pcEdRfuCWwSsOoK1HPLhCMMG1Ptx1qNRMcKOflC91Yn50MDyjPAxIvGA/s740/instrument+kids+clipart.bmp

Pie, Pie, Me-Oh-My!

Humble pie, that is.  I've been whining all week, and now I'm  putting an end to it.

• I feel crumby, because I've had a migraine all week. But I don't have cancer, I'm not dying--I'm lucky.

• Work didn't go the way I wanted this week. But my kiddos are learning, I know I'm good at what I do, and I love my job--I'm lucky.

• The weather is WAY hotter and stickier than I like. But I have a pool, I have a home, and I'm alive--I'm lucky.

• My pool is a dirty, mucky mess. But I'm strong enough to buckle down and clean it, and when it's clean, it's heavenly--I'm lucky.

• My house is a dirty, mucky mess. But it's a home, and my girls will be here soon, and I'll get around to cleaning eventually--I'm lucky.

Serve me up another slice of pie. This time, make it cherry.

Mama Said

Everyone has bad days, bad weeks. Some even have bad years. How do you handle it? 
My mom has been gone a long time now, and yet I want to talk to her almost every day. Nothing in my life is terrible--not even remotely bad. As I've stated repeatedly, I am One Lucky Chick. But I'd still like to talk to my mom. And I'd like to hear about HER day. I'm pretty sure that, though I was an adult when she died, I was so immature that I rarely asked her how SHE was doing, or how HER day went. I was always concerned about me, me, me. I would whine to her about all my earth-shattering problems, and she'd listen and offer advice. 
Actually, now that I really think about, she DIDN'T so much offer advice as give me a kick in the pants! My mom was a take-no-prisoners sort of woman; a "stop whimpering and buck up" girl. Boy, do I admire that now! At the time, I remember thinking, "She's so mean; she's not pampering me and treating me like the princess that I am." Yeah, I was a self-centered brat. I regret never having said, "How are YOU doin', Mom?" I know that if she did share how her day was going, I probably just LOOKED like I was listening, when, in fact, I was most likely thinking about where my boyfriend was and what we'd be up to as soon as I got out of the house.
Nowadays, I tell her how my family is doing. I make jokes with her, I laugh with her. I carry her around in my heart and I can hear her voice saying, "Oh, you bird!" (her favorite catchphrase). And nowadays, I DO ask her, "How's it goin', Mom? What have you been up to?" I'd love to hear what she has to say. I hope she's comfortable, pain-free, and happy. And I hope she knows how fabulous her grandchildren are. And I thank her over and over and over for everything.

Fa La La La Lovely

Happy Holidays to all! I'll admit, until it snowed Friday night, I was in total Grinch mode. I cannot bring myself to feel merry when it doesn't look and feel like a Currier and Ives photo outside. 
But it snowed just enough to look festive, and now I'm in high Christmas spirits. While it's easy to be overwhelmed by the never-ending to-do lists (can I get an "A-MEN?"), once again the prospect of a house filled with giggles, hugs, and loved ones will carry me through the exhaustion.
Christmas music will blast all day, the vacuum, steam cleaner (NEW! Is it wrong that I'm so excited about this?!?), washing machine, and dishwasher will be a-humming, and by tonight, one of the many lists will be tossed. And Wednesday night, the hugs, kisses, and laughs begin! I am SO blessed.
Ho, ho, ho, and to all, a good night!

Everything Old is New Again

Well, it's here. The New Year. Do you feel different? I do, sort of. What is it about January 1st that makes us feel different? Maybe it's just that we all EXPECT so much. We've been raised to think of this as a chance for do-overs, to feel obligated to make big changes (for the better) in our lives.

Do you make New Year's resolutions? I do, but as I get older, I cut myself more slack than I did before. I don't set limits or dates to see the results. I believe in goal-setting, I believe in checking in with those goals. But I seem more able to take the unexpected into account, to forgive myself a few missed deadlines.
Of course, I won't miss a deadline that affects someone else. Absolutely not. I'm always more willing to sacrifice what I want to do in order to not disappoint someone else. I know that's not a good thing, really. It's an old habit--the people-pleaser gene. I'm sad that I seem to have passed that on to at least two of my children. I didn't do a good job of instilling a "your needs should matter to you" mindset, so they are people-pleasers, too. 
Hopefully, they can learn from the mistakes they see me make. I'm still learning how to navigate through this life. I like the "wisdom" that comes with age, I like the idea of becoming a better person each day. I guess that's one of the reasons The New Year appeals to me. More chances to grow. 

It's been a long, been a long time

I realize I'm only using this blog to remind myself to be grateful daily, but I apologize for being absent for the entire month of November!! I thought a lot about blogging, but I didn't actually DO it. Bad girl!

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone, but I continue to be thankful every minute of every day. The sounds of my girls laughing after the big dinner stays in my head, making me so grateful for my beautiful family. The sheer abundance of food we have is both embarrassing and humbling. The warmth of the house, the new windows, the wood stoves--I'm lucky to have them all, and I'm grateful.

It didn't snow for my birthday--which is my selfish birthday wish every year-- but I got to spend a good chunk of the day walking through the beautiful grounds where our upcoming family wedding will take place, watching the excitement on the faces of my daughter and her fiancee', and seeing the bond between two sisters grow as we excitedly talked through some plans.

This week, I listened proudly as my youngest daughter described her new job, and as she marveled at her own responsibility, I marveled with her, and was grateful.

I'm alive, I'm healthy, my girls are independent, smart, creative women. I love my life, I love my family and friends. I'm so lucky, so grateful.

Darkest Just Before Dawn

Do you ever sit outside before the sun comes up? You know, between, say, 4 am and 6:30 am? Well, where I live, this is prime time. Especially at this time of year--autumn. The world is peaceful. Not quiet, not still, certainly. But alive and at peace. This morning, the sky was clear, allowing me to see layers and layers of stars, accompanied by the quarter moon. Slowly, as an hour passed, the moon stayed bright, but the stars faded from view. The sky went from a solid shade of DARK to varying layers of gray, steel blue, and, eventually pink. The sounds of the world waking up got livelier, the feel of peace started to fade. But each phase of this process brings its own beauty.

And I'm grateful I'm here to enjoy it.

Shout out to the techno-geeks

If you know me, you know I THINK I'm good at technology, but I'm really not. I love to play with it, but between my poor memory and my fumble fingers, I make a lot of mistakes. It takes me a REALLY long time to get things right.

But I almost always enjoy the trials and errors. I feel like I'm firing up portions of my brain that I never knew I had, or that had been dormant for…ages. So I vow to keep at it. I'm even taking another class in it. Believe it or not, I'm ahead of the game in the class----stop laughing.

Anyway, I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn, for the wired world we live in, and for the fact that I have patient, VERY patient, daughters who will help me release my inner geek.

Can't resist

The purpose of this blog is to remind myself to be grateful (don't mean to go all Oprah on ya). It's so darn easy when I get to wake up to this:

And this:

Hooray for fall!

Grateful, grateful, grateful for fall weather in the Midwest! Granted, this week we're having a hot, humid return of summer, but it won't last. Soon the trees will be in glorious color and the days will be crisp and clear.

FALL ROCKS! I'm one lucky chick to live where we have such a beautiful season.

Remember

Today, we pause to remember the day our worlds stood still. While much has changed since 2001, some things will never change. Humans can be unfailingly kind and unflinchingly cruel to one another. I am so lucky my life is filled with kindness.

Since I last posted about our family's recent devastating news, I've been overwhelmed with kind words, hugs, gifts of support.

Today, as I send my thoughts to the city I love, I'm filled with gratitude for the loved ones in my life.

Thank you.

I'm a General Music teacher, which means I have the privilege of sharing my love of music with hundreds of preteens every year. This past week marked the start of my 34th year of teaching, and I'm grateful for every minute of these years.

I am lucky to teach a subject which provides so much joy to people all over the planet, and I discover new sounds every single day. I want my kids to leave my class enjoying music, being open to all sounds, feeling like accomplished listeners, performers, and composers.

Here's to another year of musical fun!

Random thoughts

It's been awhile since I posted, but that doesn't mean I haven't had thoughts of gratefulness daily! Actually, each day that passes, I spend time going over why I'm so lucky--I just get lazy when it comes to posting about these thoughts.

So, here are a few thoughts from recent days:

I'm so lucky to have such a strong body. Out of shape, maybe not attractive to look at, but there's SO much I can do to keep myself independent. I'm grateful for my strength.

I'm so lucky to have a pool in my backyard. I live in a climate which only allows me to use the pool 3 short months out of the year, and for much of this summer, I whined about having to constantly fish leaves and muck out of the pool. But when I'm floating peacefully, listening to the birds and squirrels scamper, I know how lucky I am.

I'm lucky that my family is healthy. The girls are, for the most part, happy; my dad is still going--maybe not strong, but--forward; my brothers are wonderful, soft-hearted guys with terrific families. I'm very lucky.

I'm grateful for the talents I've been given, and for parents who encouraged and nurtured those talents. I really can do a lot of things others can't do, and I think I would shrivel up and die without being able to be expressive in my music, my cooking, my writing. So, thanks, mom and dad.

To vaca(te) or not to vaca(te)

I'm toying with the idea of running away for the last four days of my official summer. I have a place picked out, and I know it will be fun and relaxing, but I'm on the fence as to whether to spend the money and do it, or just keep getting summer errands done.

Anyone who might be reading this, weigh in, okay?

Believe it or not,

...I'm grateful for my body! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I believe I would ever say that. But I am. It's large, out of shape, not very attractive, but it's strong, pretty healthy, and it's still going. Thought I wouldn't live this long--not a good history on the female side of my family. But I'm here, I'm getting healthier and stronger every day, and it's time I admitted that I'm glad for who I am, HOW I am.

Feelin' it again

Though I haven't posted in awhile, I've had daily "grateful" moments and I'm doing pretty well with keeping my gratefulness in the front of my mind.

The weather today has become wonderfully cool and dry; I know it won't last, but I'm grateful for today.

Had a great time at Wrigley Field on Wednesday--first time in 35 years! Good friends, great atmosphere, and the Cubs beat the Brewers! :)

Been toying with the idea of escaping for my final two weeks of summer, but maybe saving money would be more prudent. So I'm going to try to work hard on the summer to-do list and be grateful for each accomplishment, big and small.

Been eating well, gearing up for the "Eat Local" challenge that begins next week. I'm lucky to live in an area with amazing produce and farmers' markets--I think the challenge won't be too difficult.

Another day

I'm grateful for another day to live life. I guess I am of the age where this sort of "live-in-the-moment" stuff is popular; I know that I never thought I'd be one of THOSE people, but, hey, I really am grateful for so much.

It's a beautiful day, the temperature is bearable (not many of those days this summer, for sure). I have the good fortune to be able to spend the day lounging in the pool, doing some "fluff" reading, so I'm going to take advantage of it.

I know I'm lucky.