Saturday, January 28, 2012
Everyone has bad days, bad weeks. Some even have bad years. How do you handle it?
My mom has been gone a long time now, and yet I want to talk to her almost every day. Nothing in my life is terrible--not even remotely bad. As I've stated repeatedly, I am One Lucky Chick. But I'd still like to talk to my mom. And I'd like to hear about HER day. I'm pretty sure that, though I was an adult when she died, I was so immature that I rarely asked her how SHE was doing, or how HER day went. I was always concerned about me, me, me. I would whine to her about all my earth-shattering problems, and she'd listen and offer advice.
Actually, now that I really think about, she DIDN'T so much offer advice as give me a kick in the pants! My mom was a take-no-prisoners sort of woman; a "stop whimpering and buck up" girl. Boy, do I admire that now! At the time, I remember thinking, "She's so mean; she's not pampering me and treating me like the princess that I am." Yeah, I was a self-centered brat. I regret never having said, "How are YOU doin', Mom?" I know that if she did share how her day was going, I probably just LOOKED like I was listening, when, in fact, I was most likely thinking about where my boyfriend was and what we'd be up to as soon as I got out of the house.
Nowadays, I tell her how my family is doing. I make jokes with her, I laugh with her. I carry her around in my heart and I can hear her voice saying, "Oh, you bird!" (her favorite catchphrase). And nowadays, I DO ask her, "How's it goin', Mom? What have you been up to?" I'd love to hear what she has to say. I hope she's comfortable, pain-free, and happy. And I hope she knows how fabulous her grandchildren are. And I thank her over and over and over for everything.