I received some bad news about someone I love this weekend. I was planning a party at the time. What did I do? I canceled the party and went into a "cave." Maybe that was wrong. I mean, I have wonderful, supportive friends, and I know that spending time with them would have certainly lifted me up.
But I couldn't get past the feeling that I would let them down. I don't think I could have spent time with them without telling them what I was going through, and that would put a damper on the whole day. So I canceled. I'm once again reminded of how lucky I am, though, as all of these friends sent warm, supportive messages of care, and the two of my girls who live nearby came over with food and hugs and laughs. They know me so well. They are the people I would spend every minute of my life with, if life allowed, and they know that. Their presence is my best medicine.
So today I feel better. Not good, but better. Able to probably function a bit. I have to screw up my courage and call the ill loved one, and I know it's going to be a painful conversation. But I'm buoyed by the love of those around me. For this I am so grateful.