Monday, June 27, 2011
Intellectually, it's easy to see the cycle that keeps me down. I hole up, I don't visit with people, I cancel plans, I keep to myself. Then I have so much time alone to dwell on how lonely and alone I am. I feel sadder and sorrier for myself. I get angry, say I'm going to push through and reach out to others. I chicken out and climb back into my hole. So stupid, and so obvious. I KNOW it's a fixable problem, and I know I'M the only one who can fix it. But depression makes you feel so tired, so lazy, everything seems so pointless. I KNOW this. Now I have to CHANGE this.
Like Bob, I'm going to take baby steps. I won't say yes to everything--it's just not gonna happen, so I don't want to set myself up to fail yet again. But I WILL say yes to at least ONE THING I don't really want to do per week, for the remainder of the summer. Yes, I will. YES, I WILL.
Posted by mafeaprns at 11:35 AM